Emotionally Unavailable? How to Stop Getting Attached too Fast

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How to Stop Getting Attached too Fast: Dealing with Emotional Unavailability

Are you tired of getting attached too quickly in relationships, only to find yourself heartbroken when the other person isn’t ready to commit? If so, you may be dealing with emotional unavailability. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore what emotional unavailability is, how it affects your relationships, and most importantly, how to overcome it and stop getting attached too fast.

Understanding Emotional Unavailability

Emotional unavailability is a common issue that can sabotage your relationships. It occurs when a person is unable or unwilling to connect emotionally with their partner. This can manifest in various ways, such as avoiding deep conversations, being distant or aloof, or refusing to commit to a long-term relationship.

Signs of Emotional Unavailability

  • Fear of commitment
  • Difficulty expressing emotions
  • Avoidance of intimacy
  • Hot and cold behavior
  • Prioritizing work or other commitments over the relationship

How Emotional Unavailability Affects Your Relationships

When you are emotionally unavailable, it can have a detrimental impact on your relationships. Your partner may feel neglected, unloved, and insecure, leading to conflict and ultimately, the end of the relationship. Additionally, constantly getting attached too quickly can leave you feeling emotionally drained and disappointed.

The Cycle of Getting Attached too Fast

  1. Idealizing the Other Person
  2. Ignoring Red Flags
  3. Moving Too Quickly
  4. Feeling Rejected When the Other Person Pulls Away

Overcoming Emotional Unavailability

If you want to break the cycle of getting attached too fast and overcome emotional unavailability, there are several steps you can take.

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1. Self-Reflection

Take the time to reflect on your past relationships and patterns of behavior. Ask yourself why you tend to get attached too quickly and what underlying issues may be contributing to your emotional unavailability.

2. Set Boundaries

Learn to set boundaries in your relationships and communicate your needs effectively. This will help you establish healthy boundaries and avoid getting too emotionally invested too soon.

3. Practice Self-Care

Focus on taking care of yourself and prioritizing your own emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with friends and family.

4. Seek Therapy

If you’re struggling to overcome emotional unavailability on your own, consider seeking therapy or counseling. A trained therapist can help you explore your emotions, identify unhealthy patterns, and develop coping strategies.


Q: Can emotional unavailability be changed?

A: Yes, with self-awareness and effort, emotional unavailability can be changed.

Q: Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with an emotionally unavailable person?

A: It can be challenging, but with open communication and mutual effort, it is possible to have a healthy relationship with an emotionally unavailable person.

Q: How long does it take to overcome emotional unavailability?

A: The timeline for overcoming emotional unavailability varies for each individual, but with dedication and consistency, progress can be made.


In conclusion, getting attached too fast and dealing with emotional unavailability can be challenging, but it is not impossible to overcome. By understanding the root causes of your behavior, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking therapy if needed, you can break the cycle and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Remember, change takes time and effort, but with determination and self-reflection, you can stop getting attached too fast and create deeper, more meaningful connections with others.